All the Way

September 12, 2012 at 4:37 pm (Uncategorized) (, , )

“When somebody loves you
It’s no good unless he loves you all the way
Happy to be near you
When you need someone to cheer you all the way”
When that somebody who loves you thinks you are the cat’s pajamas then that is what you become. Because my crush thought that I was adventurous, at age fourteen, I learned to ski. I swallowed up my fear, my dislike of the icy, biting wind, the belief that I would be permanently injured, the tears brimming at my eyes, the bile about to vurp out of my belly and saw myself in his eyes. He thought I was fun loving and daring. Who was I to doubt?
He said, “If you can do basic math and read, you can cook.” So we learned together and became determined to make our table one of abundance, conversation and cheer.
We had to learn a new language to communicate with our firstborn. His faith that we would manage just fine was just exactly what I needed to throw myself full throttle into figuring it all. As if we can ever figure it all out.
He told me I was smart and that kids liked me and that of course I could be a librarian working with teens. So I did that. He laughed at my jokes so I became, in my mind, funny. He treated me like a sex kitten and … you get the idea.
The person I am now is the vision that he saw when I could only see someone destined to be a flibbertigibbet, an irresponsible, live-only-for-the-moment dilettante. It begs the question of who I will be when I am no longer reflected from his rosy colored glasses.
I will not focus on that now, as now he needs me. And he believes that I can help him through this hardest of times. He needs me all the way. Come what may. So I can.
“When somebody needs you
It’s no good unless he needs you all the way
Through the good or lean years
And for all the in-between years come what may”


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